A day in The Lifestyle of the TMI gang
by Santana Starr
Summary: Just Oneshots/Drabbles about the lives of the gang. I may have AH/AU in there but I not sure yet but I will warn you. This ranges from Letters to Poems to Oneshots to Instalments. Please no harsh comments but all Constructive Criticism is welcome.
1. Dear Magnus from Jace

Dear Magnus,

I do not EVER want to hear the word "Erchomai, I am coming" EVER again from inside or outside (and I say outside because I know we can hear it from there) the institute. It is absolutely abysmal and if I ever hear it again I will toss myself onto the nearest blade hopefully not one of yours as I know what you do with it (If you know what I mean) and you'd have to deal with the anger of my girlfriend and all the upset fans I have trailing after me and there is a lot so you would like it.

Yours Truly,

Jace "The Undeniably Sexy" Herondale


	2. Cinema

To all of my 81 viewers thanks you for reading this although I would appreciate if I got any review nevertheless I have a new chapter no excuse for having it late I just wasn't bothered.

Disclaimer: I don't own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

The rain poured on the roof of the Institute. Clarissa Morgenstern sat staring out of the window seat in the hallway facing the damp streets of Brooklyn, New York. She wrapped her sweater tighter around herself when she heard the wind whipping outside.

"It's June for God's sake!" Isabelle Lightwood yelled out from behind Clarissa a.k.a Clary.

Simon stopped reading his book to look at Izzy. She grinned and sat next to Clary.

She stared out the window, but frowned and turned to Clary. "I'm bored"

"I know same", Clary responded. It was cold, and wet and no demons had been near. Both females sighed at the same time and then let out a high pitched scream and jumped back from the window . Simon ran behind them and bared his fangs however it was empty and there was nothing there. Jace walked in at this moment not haring the screen but instead said "WAZZUP"

"Jace Lightwood there are some things certain people should never say and that was one of them" exclaimed Clary after hearing atrocious greeting from the otherwise perfect male.

"Okay I'm sorry for being so sexy. Wanna go outside?"

"Yeah coz I love the freezing cold rain and wind!" shouted Clary "And you aren't even sexy asshat!"

"How about we watch a movie" interupted Izzy before we got in another discussion but that is a story for another time

"Sounds alright...but what?" Simone asked

"No Clue"

"Well isn't that fan-fucking-tastic!" Clary shrieked

"Fine, Miss Broody Butt. Can _you_ think of anything?" asked Jace. She blushed and turned away.

"Uuhhh... The only thing i can think of is the new Maze Runner movie" she muttered.

"Alright Maze Runner it is!" Jace clamoured jumping up and down the stairs to apply a glamour before Simon reminded him they could just go through one of Clary's portals rather than the Institute doors being opened.

* * *

When they arrived at the movie theatre, it was in complete isolation apart from the couple of workers. Everyone had decided to stay home instead of seeing a movie. Both couples headed to the counter and bought tickets.

"Does anyone know about this movie" Izzy asked

"A hunger games rip-off with explosions and boys"

* * *

After 2 hours the movie was finally over. As cool as the special effects were the saw this shit in real life and none of them were impressed. They walked through an ally and Clary made a portal rune and they all went through it and sat in the kitchen of the Institute.

"Maybe it would have been better if we knew who everyone was originally was" Simon stated. There was a quiet murmur of agreements.

"Also i might have enjoyed it if I could actually see it!" Clary said but Simon just shrugged.

"Hey there are inappropriate parts. Don't blame me!" exclaimed Simon

"It was only kissing-"

"And I'm sure with your vampire super senses you can hear Clary and I but mainly Clary when we aren't with you." interrupted Jace.

"Yeah Si i mean geez" Izzy Joined in "It's not like you haven't heard it before."

"Let' . .There" Clary Articulated while her teeth were gritted.

"Agreed." Said Simon finishing that portion of the conversation.

"Oh look it stopped raining! Training?" Jace asked. Clary snorted and soon started laughing. Izzy joined in and soon they were in lunacy and then Simon joined in bellowing out in laughter at the hysterical ladies.

"What is so funny" Jace demanded.

"We're so screwed up" Clary managed between giggles

"I find that offensive, I didn't mind the movie but the scenes were not as provocative as us were they Clary?" Jace stated before grabbing Sansanvi.


	3. Caring

Hey guys I'm updating so soon since I got a review I am actually quite happy for it so thank you **Panda2004,** can I just say I won't give shout outs to everyone it is only because they are my first reviewer so thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare.

Clary and Alec were bored as everyone else went to pandemonium to find some prey to hunt so they sat in one of the spare rooms as Clary sketched and Alec sharpened his arrow heads.

No demons were spotted for a long time so there was nothing to hunt and they couldn't train as the training room was under renovations after one of Clary's runes so they couldn't even train. Clary's stomach rumbled as they never ate breakfast as Izzy burned the last of the food before Clary had a chance to wake up to cooked their daily delights. Alec tilted his head as she put her hands over her stomach to stop the noise before his rumbled however not as loudly. He grabbed her and dragged her to the front entrance.

"Where are we going?" She asked a little quieter than usual, still embarrassed over the groans her stomach made.

"I'm taking you to Taki's. I'll call the others and tell them to meet us there." he replied simply.

"What?! Since when did Alec Lightwood care for me" Clary's voice held a bit of amusement and there was even concern that maybe he had gone crazy.

"I've always cared" he replied " I just haven't really shown it...'til now2

"Exactly"

"Whatever"

After they ordered food they talked and talked but nothing was mentioned of the new 'caring Alec' knowing it would have a bout of embarrassment for him. This mad Clary quite scared knowing she usually would give up a moment to embarrass someone.

 _Ah well,_ she thought.


	4. Makeover for Max

Got bored so I mad a random fic this is set before Max died but after clary knows she can draw runes. Maryse and Robert are on official Clave business.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare

* * *

"ITS RAINING MUFFINS" Cried Izzy as she ran into the training room. Clary paused her knife throwing practise to look at Izzy. Then all of a sudden Max ran in not seeing Izzy and trampled her like the wildebeest did to Mufasa.

"Wow you are suck a canker-blossom!" Clary called out to him.

"Yeah I kno- wait what?" Izzy and Clary just gave Max a look that said why-do-we-even-bother-when-we-could-just-say-you-are-too-young-to-hang-with-us. Max squinted trying to fight the two death glares that could rival Valentine but he just gave up and dropped to the floor on his knees crying like a little girl.

Jace and Alec just walked in the training room from the kitchen and it was at this moment Jace dropped his apple as they saw Max tied to a chair weeping with bright make up on with a blond wig and two pony tails sticking out either side of his head and a bright pink honey boo-boo dress.

"How did you get the dress on h-" Jace started but stopped once he saw the familiar red glow of a rune. The two males just backed out to go straight to the kitchen to the kitchen leaving Izzy and Clary with a sobbing Max.

That night roads in New York were covered in muffins of all flavour and a triple chocolate fudge muffin was on the tip of the empire state building


	5. Swearing

I just wanted to say to the guest who asked me the question yes I will take requests just comment them only it may take some time as I have about a weeks worth of chapters lined up for you but once finished I will upload it.

Disclaimer: I don't own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

"OW! Stupid mother f-"Clary yelled out after hitting her head on the cupboard under the sink whilst looking for a mixing bowl. She was cut off by a hand with familiar long slender fingers that had an artistic shape to them.

"Clary, what have I told you about the way you speak. First off you are a young lady we don't want that sort of speech from your mouth and secondly this story may be rated 'T' but you never know what sly children read when they are on those computer things". Jocelyn explained to the 15 year old girl who was rubbing her head with a pained expression on her face. She remained silent looking up at her.

Jocelyn started strolling out the room very slowly as Clary remained quiet.

"SHIT that hurt!" she finally blurted out. Jocelyn stopped after only getting half way through out the room and spun on her heels to face the smart-mouthed Clary. She just shook her head disapprovingly as Clary looked up to stare at her. She grinned a cute but evil smile and while looking up through her lashes to seem innocent yet Jocelyn just chuckled and left the room more quickly this time.


	6. Still I Rise - Songfic

_Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare._

* * *

 _Still I rise, still I fight,_

 _Still I might crack a smile._

 _Keep my eyes on the prise, see my haters tell 'em hi,_

 _One day you'll remember this, one day when we reminisce._

Clary looked her enemy in the eye. She gave the faintest of smiles. A smile of revenge. It was the day of death for Johnathon. Just like the lyrics in that song but what was it again?

Now was not the time to think about that though. She was about to kill her brother standing just two metres away from her. Clarissa Morgenstern was about to kill the last male holding the blood of the Morgenstern family.

 _One day you'll remember this, one day when we reminisce._ A line she just remembered from the song by Nicki Minaj.

However Clary wasn't sure of that the only way she'll reminisce is at his grave but she was thinking once she was though with there wouldn't be a body to even lay at rest but if there is hopefully that body won't rest for a long time.

Clary hoped that her own eyes were boring a hole in the back of her opponent. She wished for that black cloak to burn to ash with the rest of his physique.

Clary waited while Johnathon turned slowly and dropped his hood down. Both siblings smirked at the same time it seemed to be one of the characteristics they share but both of those sneers belonged to a separate world.

Clary stood in her stance with Heosphoros clutched in her palm while Johnathon mirrored her but with Phaesphoros. She gave the slightest shrug and looked ahead.

"Hello Johnathon"


	7. Gangnam Style

I was reminiscing over times with my friends and we were talking about PSY and so I had some inspiration and wrote this. I have also at this moment of time 21:03 had 775 view and yet only 3 reviews so I am quiet sad but nevertheless I am writing this.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

So this is how you actually do it," Magnus grabbed Alec's arm and jerked them upwards. "Make your fists hang loosely and hold both arms in front. Now it goes 1,2,3,3,1,2,3,3,1,2,3,3 and so on," she explained

Izzy walked in the door and stood in the hallway silently watching. Magnus was teaching Alec how to dance to Gangnam Style.

"How can you do this so well?" Alec asked "Do you practise in your room of something" he grinned.

Magnus looked away quickly knowing his slightly tanned face would betray him and show his rosy cheeks. "No..." he replied while swishing his hand and playing it though the Iphone dock. "Ready?"

"No." Alec replied.

"Good, let's go", Magnus jumped up and down perfectly matching the dance routine. However, Alec did it to perfection as well only looking a bit more graceful. As soon as Magnus looked over with a smug look it disappeared.

He frowned and stormed over to turn off the music. "What are you doing?" Alec asked.

"Why can't I be better than you at the one thing you cannot even do?" Magnus had a sulky look on his face and he stormed out of the room right pass Izzy without even a blink.

"What just happened?" Alec asked.

"I don't know but what I do know is that this is going on YouTube," Izzy said pressing ' _stop recording'_


	8. Pregnancy

My cousin recently had a child and my sister is trying for one so I thought of a pregnancy fic so voila!

 **Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all right go to Cassandra Clare**

"So who is going to do this? Are you going to do this or shall I?" Clary asked

" I have no clue" Izzy said "I'm still in shock, so maybe you I mean you are his best friend since birth."

"Yeah, but aren't you the one who is actually pregnant and you are his wife so I guess he'd rather hear it from you"

"I can't do it!" Izzy said. Looking up you could see her eyes were full of uncertainty "What if he hates me or the baby? What if he wants to get rid of it? What if he tries to hu-"

"Izzy, stop freaking out" Clary said cutting her off. "It'll be fine and I promise I'll be down here with you when you tell him"

Izzy nodded and Clary walked to the foot of the stairs. "Simon" she called . "Can you come here for a minute we need to have a talk"

Upstairs Simon tripped over his own two feet and said "Shit what have I done this time"

"Yes" he called. "What's wrong is it something to do with the baby?"

"How do you know about the baby?" Izzy asked.

"Well yeah you left the ultrasound letter on the table a couple weeks ago and then I saw the sonogram this morning and I thought you were leaving hints for me to find. Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yeah, that's all" she said.

"Also congratulations we can celebrate later" he said with a wink and a hop in his step while walking up the stairs once again.

As soon as he as went out the room. Izzy turned to Clary. "You left the sonogram on the table?"

Clary just scratched the back of her head and blushed as red as her hair as she said "Opps"


	9. Dear Magnus, Love Heaven on a Body

The prompt I got from **AnonymousReader** should be up by tomorrow.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare

* * *

Dear Magnus,

Watching TOWIE has not helped you at all as Alec told me he would like to try new things with you but he said that you getting vajazzled was not one of them and yet there have been no screams from your apartment or his room here so can you keeping do this with new designs please as we have all had a good nights sleep.

Yours,

Heaven on a body

P.S. Does this give me a legitimate excuse to call you glitterballs now.


	10. Virtual Reality

Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated but I got my motivation yesterday from a guest and so I thought I would add a new chapter. I have decided to ditch the Years and Years story as I really have no idea where am going with it, also if the reader who requested the halsey songfic could elaborate more on how you want the storyline to pan out please, Thank You!

 **Disclaimer: I do not own TMI all rights go to Cassandra Clare.**

* * *

Clary felt the adrenaline and jumped backwards. She screamed a war cry and sailed through the air. The creature she was opposite was holding a purple whip yet it looked disgusting, as it had the body of a woman but in this instance it had wings and tail of a dragon with dragon scales going down the calf but it also had the hooves and horns of a ram. A succubus. It emitted a purple glow indicating to Clary it was a greater demon.

Clary took one step toward it, growling at her opponent.

She flicked her wrist multiple times as she saw she was making lacerations on the enemy's body as she watched Simon casually flick his wrist and cut off the head of his enemy which was easier to defeat. A harpy. Clary then rotated her hips and swung at the enemy with her rapier. She laughed in victory as she decapitated the head of the succubus after hitting it in it's weak spot, the purple jewel on her chest connected to a gold chain. It was then Clary spoke in the whole altercation. "Ave atque vale."

"Clary, I believe you have taken this virtual reality game way too far." Simon laughed.

Clary just ignored him and put her virtual rapier in its virtual scabbard. "Vengeance is mine and retribution, saith the Lord."


End file.
